Stranger Danger

Originally written for the PWD Shorelines Newsletter April, 2021
 
Stranger Danger
 
Do you have a “Covid Puppy”?  If you got your puppy during 2020, you’ll find that people are sometimes referring to them as Covid Puppies… When they say this, it is usually coming with a negative association. When I hear someone say this about their puppy, I immediately think – Under socialized. Unfortunately, this is the case more often than not.
 
I have a little Covid Puppy too. We scooped her up in June, 2020. Right when all of the puppy classes were put on hold. Even if we were to take her for a walk, no one wanted to come up close enough to pet her and say Hi. Luckily, we have been able to get her out a lot lately, and (fingers crossed), she is almost ready for her very first dog show!
 
Some of the puppies have had a pretty rough time with this lack of socialization. They are very afraid of anything outside of their home, their safe little bubble. And, since they have grown past the age of actual socialization (which ends around 14-ish weeks), we are now left to train them to be comfortable with different environments. It can sometimes be stressful for the dogs, and for us humans too!
 
Here are some tips to help your dog overcome the fears of the outside world…
 
Let’s take Stranger Danger as our example. We might pet our dogs and say “it’s okay”, when our dogs are afraid. But guess what, they’re still scared. This means their fear is overriding their ability to listen to what we are saying, right?  If you look at this scenario in the larger picture, it’s telling us that our dog is unable to trust us to take control of the situation. He is unable to trust us to keep him safe.
 
First and foremost, our dogs need to know that we are going to keep them safe.
 
Imagine this scenario – I am out walking my shy dog and I see a friend of mine. We approach each other and stop about 6’ away. At this point, a few things could happen:

1. I push  my dog to walk out in front of me to greet the person.
2. My dog hides behind me, so I hand some treats to the person and ask her to give my dog a treat.
3. I move away from the person and ask my dog to pay attention to me.

 
Which do you think is the most appropriate way to handle a shy dog? Let’s break it down.
 
“I push my dog to walk out in front of me to greet the person.”
Um, yikes! I hope we can agree that this is probably the worst thing you can do! If a dog isn’t ready to say Hi to someone, pushing them forward could make the situation worse. You could create a fear biter and solidify the dogs’ anxiety in seeing new people. A definite no-no!
 
“My dog hides behind me, so I hand some treats to the person and ask her to give my dog a treat.”
Nope! Not this one either.
 
This is a suggestion that many trainers offer for shy dogs. They often suggest this is because they think when a dog takes treats from a stranger, they will associate that stranger with something good. If your dog loves new people, then great! You can go ahead and use this method. However, if your dog is feeling unsure of the person, please do not do this. It could, and probably will, set your dog back in their training.
 
Think of this from the dog’s perspective. They are afraid of a person, yet they want the food. So, they may quickly go towards the person to get the treat, but then they will quickly go back to their owner’s side. This doesn’t teach or train them to like the person. And it certainly does not teach them that you are going to provide them with a safe environment. In fact, this method completely TAKES YOU, THE TRAINER, OUT OF THE EQUASION! This also leaves you with zero control of what the other person does.
 
You know how people can be well-meaning, but still do things that can mess your dog up? I can think of countless situations where you say “please don’t pet him”, and after a couple minutes what happens? They reach out to pet your dog. Or you say “please don’t let him jump on you”, and what happens? They say “oh that’s okay, I love dogs”!
 
There are also many, slight things, that this person could do that would set your dog back in their “stranger training”. If they are offering your dog a treat, they are most likely positioned incorrectly for a fearful dog. Facing your dog, front towards your dog, reaching out towards your dog, looking at your dog – all no-no’s for fearful pups!  Even if you ask them not to do that, it’s human nature to flow into that posture.  Plus, now you’re relying on this stranger to train your dog, not you. This is a situation where you really need to take control of your dog’s environment to show them that you are keeping them safe.
 
Another thing they may do is reach out to your dog to pet it, right after it’s taken the treat. I can almost guarantee you that your dog is going back up when that person reaches their hand over your dogs head. If that happens, your dog will remember the experience. Now you have a dog that takes a treat quickly and then backs away to avoid the strangers hand over their head.
 
Lastly, do not verbally encourage your dog to approach the person. If you talk to your dog and say things like “it’s okay, that’s just Bob!” you could be inadvertently scaring your dog even more. They may want to listen to your command, but be too afraid. Or, your voice may be spoken in a praising-type tone. Which would mean you’re accidentally praising your dog for feeling fearful…
 
“I move away from the person and ask my dog to pay attention to me.”
Yes! Perfect! This is the one! If you have a dog that is shy of new people, this is the way you want to start. Doing this will help your dog in a few different ways:

1. First off, there is no rule that says everyone has to pet your dog, right? Or, even approach your dog. If your dog goes out and thinks that there is going to be a lot of social interaction, this could create anxiety and stress, right? Help your dog understand that most times when you go out, he does not have to worry about people approaching him. Trust me, he’ll start to feel much more comfortable about going out. It’s like me, when I want to quick run to the grocery store, and I cross my fingers and hope that I don’t see anyone I know, haha!
2. You want to help your dog understand that YOU are in control of his environment. If he understands that you are controlling things, and that you’re going to keep him safe, he will have a much easier time letting his guard down and enjoying his outing. Conversely, if he feels like his environment is uncontrolled, he will be afraid of everything around him, wondering when someone might approach. Let him know that you are not going to let anyone too close to him, and that he (nor the strangers around him) does not need make any of the decisions, because you do. This will help him feel more secure and start to defer to you more! (yay!!)
3. If you do see someone you know, and you want to chat, keep a comfortable distance from them. How can you tell what is a comfortable distance? If your dog is hiding behind you, you’re too close!

 
Ideal training scenario for a fearful dog – Level One


Pick a place where there will be people, or people and dogs. No, not a dog park! Those are way too uncontrollable! Say you’re in the parking lot of Menards, or even better - at a dog show. You’ll want to place yourself and your dog outside the building, near the entrance, but not too close! Have super-high value treats ready. Take your chair, get comfy.
 
Whenever you dog sees someone walking towards the door, ask for a “Look” and start treating. Continue the treats as the person walks towards you (of course they’re walking towards the door, but your dog doesn’t know that”). As soon as the person is no longer walking towards you, but has passed that imaginary line and are now walking away from you, the treats stop. Don’t talk to your dog. Calmly ignore your dog.
 
People can be approaching from any direction. They could be coming out of the building or going towards the building. Approaching simply means they are facing in your general direction.
 
Next person starts to approach. You ask your dog to “Look” at you. The treats start flowing. Remember, keep your talking to an absolute minimum at this point. Just “Look” and then treat rewards. As soon as the person is no long walking towards you, treats and attention calmly stop.
 
The reason you stop treating when the person walks away is because you want your dog to learn that the approach is the good part! All too often we reward our dogs when the training portion is done. I don’t want my dog to think that a person walking away is the good part. My dog will start thinking, phew! I’m so glad that person walked away. Nope, I want my dog to think a person walking towards him is awesome!
 
Continue this for 5 minutes or so. If someone wants to stop and say hi, politely put your hand out (like you’re motioning STOP) and say “we’re training right now, I’ll talk to you later”!
 
Guess what you just did? You taught your dog THREE simple, yet very effective things:

1. They don’t have to stress about people or dogs coming up to them because you keep them safe by controlling their environment.
2. They LOVE it when people start to walk towards them because treats appear from you.
3. Oh, and by the way, they don’t want the person to walk away because treats stop. (your dog thinks “please come back so I can get more treats”!)

 
Once your dog is comfortable with people coming towards him, you can start working on more direct training. But this will give you a good base to start with!
 
As always, feel free to contact me if you have training or behavior questions!
 
 
Giene Keyes, Shooting Star Water Dogs
Giene Keyes is well-respected dog trainer, helping thousands of owners develop better relationships with their canine companions over the past 30 years.  She founded an award-winning dog training company and uses a humane, positive and scientifically sound approach that makes it easy for owners and their dogs to succeed. Giene and her family live in the rolling hills of the Southern Wisconsin countryside with a menagerie of pets, including their adorable and active PWDs.

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